THE CELEBRATOR — “It took me five minutes, tops.”
January 15th, 2011 by misslagsalot
I’ve got to admit, when I first laid eyes on the Celebrator at the AEE convention in Vegas, I kind of giggled. The thing was obviously an electric toothbrush with some cute pink accents and a weird Q-tip looking plastic attachment on the end of it. “Get a pulse pounding, earth shattering orgasm!” the packaging demanded, but I was singularly unimpressed with the aesthetic impact the toy made on me. The attachment on top of the electric-toothbrush base was line, thin, and almost garishly pink. It looked nothing like any vibrator I’d ever seen, and though I’ve seen plenty of vibrators made just for external stimulation, I couldn’t help imagining trying to penetrate someone with this twig-like appendage and her going, “Is it in yet?” It just didn’t seem like the kind of thing I’d really be interested in.
But hey, I’m game for new sex toy experiences just about anytime and anywhere, so I asked the people behind the table about their toy. The lady obligingly took a sample from the table, pressed a button, and held out the now-whirring pink thing toward my hand. I touched it. “Woah,” I said. She smiled. “It doesn’t vibrate like a normal massager,” she said. “It actually oscillates from side to side. Look, you can see how the tip isn’t just vibrating, it’s moving from side to side visibly.” I could see it. The pink Q-tip thing was kind of flapping back and forth, really really fast. It wasn’t vibrating, it was twitching. Powerfully. Hm.
Within a few minutes I’d grabbed one and handed over my card. I still wasn’t sure what I’d do with the damn thing, but the sensation it had shown my palm at the show was incentive enough to give it a try. When I got back to NYC from Vegas, I took the thing out of the package and giggled again, thinking that I could keep this thing in the bathroom next to the toothpaste and nobody would be the wiser. Except my dentist.
I turned on my favorite lady-porn scene, looked at the Celebrator again, shrugged, and pressed the button. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a hell of a statement to make, because I think my lady parts might operate slightly differently from others’ in that vibrators usually don’t do a whole lot for me. They’re nice and all, but most the time when I’m using a vibrator I have to finish things off with my fingers—they just can’t get me the whole way there. But not so with the Celebrator. I was wearing underpants and decided I’d start things off with a little flapping/vibrating through the cotton first, before getting the game really under way. But the game never got going. Whereas I can take a half hour easily with most vibrators, whether internally or externally applied, I’m not joking at all when I say that the Celebrator’s side-to-side oscillations oscillated my clit with a power and prowess that an electric toothbrush could NEVER muster. It took me five minutes, tops.
And when I got to the orgasm part the packaging had promised, my brain was so blank for so long that the “mind bending, earth shattering” language didn’t even come back to me until a few minutes later. I’m not exaggerating: this has got to be one of the most powerful orgasms I’ve had alone with a toy in years, and it lasted longer than anything in recent memory. I’m talking jaw-hanging-open, drool-possibly-dribbling-out, complete and utter loss of all control, absolutely… well… earth shattering.
Folks, this toy might not do much for inside your vagina, and it might look a little silly, but considering you can pack it in your luggage and not even raise the TSA people’s eyebrows when it goes through the X-ray scanner, and when you get to your hotel you can have an orgasm that will blind you for twenty minutes afterward… It’s damn well worth a try.
Across the Nation
from Goddess 69
By Amy Labrecque (Woonsocket, RI)
After the release of The celebrator at the May Meeting, stories rapidly started popping up all over Athena’s-láhd about mind blowing orgasms brought on by gyration sensations. News traveled fast on HappyBuzzing.com about this new addition to the Athena’s product line as Goddesses all across America began to celebrate on a daily basis.
Being one of the research team’ when this amazing little gadget arrived at 640 Winter Street, I knew full well that the rumors were true.
All the buzz over this lean, mean gyrations machine gave me an idea. I decided to hit the pavement to do a little investigative reporting. Please note this is different than “live - on the scene” reporting! Here’s what Goddesses told me about their Celebrators.
"I am a 27 year old female that has had constant issues with sex since I was in a car wreck in 2002, where my pelvis was fractured in two places.
I have been through extensive treatment with Women's Health Physical Therapy where I learned to improve my ability to release constant tension in my pelvic floor muscles through multiple kegel holds, and that due to my muscular tightness, sex with my husband resulted in multiple vaginal tissue tears and a build up of scar tissue. This caused my vaginal muscles to tighten even more. Sex was excruciatingly painful and Pap-smears made me scream like a baby. One doctor, at his wit's end, prescribed me lidocaine so I could completely numb my vagina for sex; I was too scared to actually try this in fear that more tears would occur. Post physical therapy, the tears healed and now I can control my pelvic floor muscles much better.
Two problems still existed post therapy: naturally, my body was unable to produce enough lubricant; and I suffered from recurrent UTI's after everytime I had sex (and I was doing EVERYTHING known to man to prevent them; my doctors and specialists didn't even know what to do anymore to fix the UTI problem). My husband and I tried every lubricant on the market via drug stores, and they helped, but not well enough.
Truely, I had given up on ever having the ability to have a great sex life again. After attending an Athena's Home Novelty Party, hosted by R.G., I purchased the "Wet Naturals Beautifully Bare Sensitive Skin Gel Lubricant" and the "Celebrator," among other items. These two purchases were the best purchases of my life! I love the Celebrator because I use it to stimulate my clitoris and my natural production of lubricant (and it does a great job, better than any foreplay!), and then the Wet Gel Lubricant on my husband to prepare for sex. I never lose wetness now, like I did with drug-store lubricants. And, in certain positions you can use the Celebrator to intensify the sexual experience.
What sold me on these two purchases: I experienced my first orgasm through sex with my husband after being sexually active for 8 years! Now the orgasm is no longer elusive, and I regularly have them! I spent many years thinking there was something seriously wrong with my body, and after doing everything I could medically to fix it, without surgery; I gave up on that part of my life. Now I have it back, and my relationship with my husband is amazing in and out of the bedroom. The best thing about the Celebrator is you can keep it sterile, the tip is a softer plastic, and you can use it in the shower. This has resulted in better management of my UTIs because unusual bacteria from standard foreplay is not coming anywhere near my urethra. Sex is out of this world amazing and cleaner for me, shower sex is finally feasible and incredible, and my husband is ecstatic at how wet I stay. If I had the funds, I would purchase these two items for every female I know, because my life has entirely changed due to the amazing sex life I now have! I've even informed all my doctors about these two items so that they can help other woman. Thank you R!"
Janette Simard (South Hadley, MA)
What a day! I returned home to find that my UPS guy had dropped off my supply order from Athena’s. I knew that there was something to celebrate about in that box. Luckily I had some time before I had to go to work. So I anxiously grabbed The Celebrator to begin my product research.
Just turning it on made my hand tingle. I thought “Alright! This could be nice!” I placed it on my “Center of the Earth” and the “tingle” raced up my spine and back down. My heart raced and then my body exploded! It was so intense. I found that there was no irritation post orgasm and I never had to remove it from my most sensitive spot!
Then what seemed like only seconds later, another orgasm began and then another.. .and they only seemed to get better and faster! After I had 10-12 orgasms, I reluctantly got up to get some work done. I was very distracted though... I kept having to go back to this addicting new toy! I spent the first day in “Research Mode”. The most amazing part is it gets better and more intense each time it gets used. And when I thought it couldn’t get any better, I grabbed it during some playtime with my husband. I must say that it makes you buck when you are on top doing your crazy cowgirl moves! The Celebrator made it so much faster to have an “0” so amazing G-Spot orgasm! I’m addicted... it’s one of my new favorite toys!
R. G. (Ocoee, FL)
I am another Goddess in need of a Celebrator intervention. It’s difficult to get things done knowing that little toothbrush looking toy is waiting patiently in the next room.
I was skeptical about the demo at the May sales meeting but was certainly intrigued. So I thought I owed it to myself and my customers to try it myself. I can’t say that l’ve had the same experience twice. The first thing I noticed was that there
were more shudders and waves of pleasure — mini orgasms - that washed over me while using the toy.
I find that the pleasur builds gradually until a longer, fuller orgasm explodes. And although I found the orgasm better, I also found that I could go again... and again... and again.
It's my new favorite workout. My partner is very excired about what the celebrator can do and we've used it as our clitoral stimulator during me to orgasm allowing me to orgasm several times before he does. The small tip allows it to fit into most positions without getting in the way. It can be used as a nipple stimulator too.
And then just as I began to worry that I really might need professional help to stop my celebration addiction, I had an idea. I pulled out my sleek and sexy Lucid Dream for G-Spot vibration and allowed that toy to rev up my engine. I then used The Celebrator in conjunction on my love button and went from a flicker to a five alarm orgasmic blaze. It was a back arching, bite your lip to stop from screaming type experience. And so I suppose there is no hope for me now. I’m officially an addict.
Holly Haywood (Winslow, ME)
I’ve found that with The Celebrator that I can experience an incredibly fast orgasm, (like I’m talking 20 seconds here) and I am then able to continue using the toy to reach climax again, something I’ve never been able to achieve! I have discovered that this toy is too powerful to let my heavy handed partner use on me, it’s just too intense! But this is a great toy to position between us or in the rear entry position due to its long reach.
Heather Grieco (Valatie, NY)
When asked to talk about The Celebrator, my body immediately shivers and quivers with delight! Celebrating is now a favorite past time of mine. There have been toys I’ve fallen for before, but The Celebrator.. .1 can’t stop thinking about it! This toy is AMAZING! You truly can lay this toy on your clitoris, start on low and just before the big 0 arrives, throw it into high gear and your eyes truly will roll back in your head! BUT WAIT... there’s more! This is the ONLY toy I’ve ever used that I can keep directly on my clitoris when that orgasm comes for extended pleasure! This is a must have for every sex toy lover on the planet! This toy gives a whole new meaning to the song, “CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!” If you haven’t celebrated yet, HAPPY BUZZING!
Jenifer Bartoszek (Salem, NH)
I found myself sitting at my desk unpacking all the new items from the summer line. I had already heard that there was something special about The Celebrator so I put batteries in one to see for myself. I just watched it for a moment in awe. Seeing how powerful it was, I decided to
just slip it between my legs to get an idea of the sensations it could give. The sensations were so intense, but not so powerful I had to pull it away. So fully dressed and at my desk, I had one of the most amazing orgasms ever in about 20 seconds that lasted about 30 seconds! My desk chair is on wheels so had I not fallen over, who knows how long it could have lasted!
Marsha Pomerleau (Manchester, NH)
I use my Celebrator at least once a day! Sometimes when I need a little stress relief from my hectic life I’ll take 3 minutes to myself on my bathroom floor! At night before I read, I’ll Celebrate so I can stay awake a little longer. It puts me in a relaxed state. This new item is amazing and has made me a MUCH happier person! What I love about The Celebrator is that it only takes a few seconds to bring me to orgasm. And no foreplay is needed! With just a little enthusiasm about what’s to come, lam coming within seconds! When I want to achieve a G-Spot orgasm (for maximum results) I grab some Wet Light, the Lucid Dream, and The Celebrator and off to the bedroom we go!
Jennifer Clanton (Houston, TX)
This is the most AMAZING toy! I am a Hitachi fan, and I rank The Celebrator up there with the Hitachi Magic Wand. There is so much power in such a small package! It works without even removing your clothes. The movement is like no other toy, so different than vibration. Get ready for lots of intense orgasms in the rear entry position — the first one in under 2 minutes! And just think about your partner teasing you to multiple orgasms while blindfolded and restrained. 0MG!
It is my personal belief that every day is a day worth Celebrating. ..over and over and over and over again!
Wanda Robinson (Splendora, TX)
To sum up The Celebrator I would have to say OH MY GODDESS! It has got to be the most amazing non-sexual looking vibe I have ever encountered in my life and I LOVE IT! Some people say that size doesn’t matter and in this case THEY ARE
RIGHT! I use-the low-speed-and have - MULTlPLE ORGASMS!! Yes as in, it is not a problem to get MINE at least 5 times! I’m using 5 as an average! As for playing with it with my partner - whoa... He LOVES IT. BUT I didn’t let him have it long. I WANTED IT BACK!
Jill Vescovi (Orange, MA)
Who the hell invented this thing? I would guess it had to be a woman.
Alright, the first thing I will say about it is how FAST it is. I haven’t set up a timer or anything, but I KNOW no more than 2-3 minutes went by. And I swear, at least 60 seconds of that was spent orgasming! The Celebrator produces a very different type of orgasm than I have EVER experienced before! It is very intense, long and drawn out. It just keeps going and going and going! Now I’ve never been one to have multiples before, so this is absolutely amazing to me! Not only does it produce multiple orgasms, but it overlaps them — they keep happening right on top of each other!
Dawn Breen (Methuen, MA)
I LOVE this new toy!
The day we met there was an animal attraction. My excitement was overwhelming. I couldn’t wait to completely disrobe. I gently placed the gyrating bulb on my clitoris over my panties. Within 10 seconds, I could feel an overwhelming sensation of something between burning hot and ice cold. It seemed, the lighter I touched myself with it, the better it felt! I closed my eyes, relaxed, and immediately felt the most intense ejaculating clitoral orgasm I have ever had! 5 seconds later, it happened again, and then again! Since I needed a shower after that, and didn’t want my new best friend to be lonely, in the shower it went with me. I almost fell over!
That night, I introduced my husband to The Celebrator and the orgasms started all over again!
Erica Wollenhaupt (Norton, MA)
As I looked at the “gum massager-like instrument” I realized it was one of the stupidest things I’ve ever looked at.. but Jen Jolicoeur INSISTED it was alllll that. So I tried it. I’m not a big fan of bullets OR oral sex for that matter (I know — crazy) but there is this one guy that does this thing when he does oral and it makes my eyes roll into the back of my head and my thighs shake... this toy does that thing — I’ll never know exactly what makes you feel the way it makes you feel but this toy will always be known as Mail to me — it does that thing that the guy that does that thing does.
Linda Johnson (Brockton, MA)
All I can say is just make sure your windows are closed when using The Celebrator. I’ve been doing the walk of shame every time I leave my house and have to walk by my neighbors...
Wendy Ramsdell (Rochester, NH)
Why and how do I Celebrate? Well considering I’m experiencing ‘Euphoric Amnesia’ from having spent the last several days celebrating as often as I can — I will try to put my feelings into words other than ‘Aaahhh!’‘Uuuhhhh!’ or ‘WOOOW!’.
First let me say that as women, we often are overworked and under celebrated — Right? Well not any more! Now you can take mailers into your own hands and begin to celebrate the beautiful deserving woman you are!
What kind of feelings do you get from celebrating? It brings you pleasure to the core! I mean, you will be hitting the head board to keep yourself grounded! It starts out as a sensual sensation that leaves you aching for more. Then quickly you find it leads to an earth shattering orgasmic eruption. And once you have a moment to catch your breath, you want to do it all over again. The best part — you can and you will.. .over and over and over.
With a partner there are many possibilities! Pleasure this powerful must be shared! Studying your deck of 52 Sex Positions cards and pondering the possibilities. There are a couple of ways that The Celebrator can be of service you. My favorite would be “All the Right And don’t forget Doggie Style which can pull G-Spot stimulation through penetration. Can do that with The Celebrator.. .and all I can say Good Goddess!’
This product is one of those female secrets needs to be shared! So tell your mother, and best friends. Everyone you know can join Athena’s Celebration!
As I sit to write this my hubby asks “So how is it standing up?” I sheepishly grin and say, “What?". He replies, “Well, it wasn’t in the shower this morning when I left!” Oops... busted — forgot I left it in there — HA!
Deb (Gilmanton, NH) is the mother of God Wendy Ramsdell. She purchased her daughters kit because she knew Wendy would be an awesome Goddess. She is her daughter & Celebrator’s #1 fan!
Well, well, who would have thought that a God Daughter could be such a help to her divorced mom! After bestowing several toys, she certainly hit BING0000000H with The Celebrator. My personal Goddess is apparently quite concerned that I have my own fun, and hopes that Celebrator will help me forget a recent wild romance. I certainly Celebrate her choice of toys, a unique way of shaking (and vibrating) me out of my emotional slump. The tough part is that she is why I am smiling all the time. Should daughters really know what their Moms do for fun? She says, ‘Celebrate, Celebrate, Celebrate! I agree totally! This little powerhouse is ample and keeps you coming back for more, and and more! Thank you to my, Goddess Daughter!
So that, dear readers is what I uncovered abo Celebrator! But don’t take our word for it! for yourself and Celebrate!
I just had my 6th experience in introducing a lady to "The Celebrator" - since I first discovered it in August.
It continues to amaze me - even with high expectations. This particular lady assured me that she never used "toys" and that they really weren't for her - and she's a grandmother so she has had time to try various devices.
In less than 5 minutes, this delightful lady went from "not for me" thru 2 orgasms to "Where Can I GET One of These?". Her husband was so turned on from watching - that I presented them with my Celebrator, left the room,
and could hear
that it had definitely not diminished their desire for each other.
This is an astonishing device. Every woman deserves a chance to experience it.
I had the fortunate opportunity of trying out this new toy. Never in my life have I been so stimulated. It was literally a nonstop…five-minute orgasm. It only took about two seconds, no kidding to hit maximum and beyond pleasure. Yes, I had to call Uncle to have my partner stop using it on me. In addition, if you take it traveling with you and your questioned about what it is you can tell them it is a gum massager. They will never know the real wonders of such a small toy.
It's been a little while since we met you at the Lifestyles Convention in Las Vegas, but it took a little while to unpack and "dig out". Ruthie was *so* pleased with your gentlemanly attentiveness while shaving her - and I'm still shocked at how effective "The Celebrator" was - and is. If you don't remember who we are, Ruthie is the one who tried to set the record for the longest public orgasm - ever.
I'm writing both to again thank you for your gentlemanly handling of us both.